Rick Gardner's Esophageal Cancer Story FINAL CHAPTER |
Rick's Battle With The Beast |
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May 15, 1947 - Dec. 15, 2007 |
Early Christmas shopping at Cabala's |
Robyne here - sole survivor of this battle, and loving widow of Rick. It has taken 8 months to get around to finishing this website, but completing it is something I know Rick would have insisted on; and now with a heavy heart and a little distance behind me, I will. |
He continued chemo treatments as long as his body would let him - through September. He fished as often as he could, and was adament about getting the Christmas shopping done early. At first we traveled to Cabala's and all the tool & hardware stores that were his favorites. Toward the beginning of October he no longer had the energy for that, but he bought me a laptop and we surfed & shopped the 'net from his bedside until everyone had just the right present. |
On October 12 he had a J-tube inserted. His weight had dropped to 99 lbs, but with the help of the feeding tube and a visiting nurse, we got him back up to 110. This made a huge difference in his energy level, although he sure did hate that tube and the cleaning/flushing of it. Now he was pretty much bed-bound, and his daily "walks" consisted of getting to the chair, or to the bedside commode. Bathing became a team effort, and I learned how to shave and trim his beard to his liking. Food became a source of aggravation, but he continued to try, usually only eating crackers, fresh tomatoes, and oatmeal. To his credit, on Thanksgiving, he ate a bite of everything - but paid for it later. At this point food = pain. |
People ask, and the ones who don't ask probably often wonder what the last months and days were like. As you can imagine, it is terribly difficult to watch your loved one waste away - to see the changes from one day to the next; it seemed like almost daily there was something he could do yesterday but not anymore. We started Hospice visits in mid-November. They were great at making him more comfortable, getting him an air mattress for the hospital bed, prescribing oxygen, and liquid morphine - which helped the pain although he didn't like to take it as often as he could. Rick was always the type who didn't want to miss a second of life, and he didn't like the sedative effect of the morphine. Understandably, as he became more dependent on others, his personality changed. Never one to be babied, there he was having to depend on me for the most basic of skills - tooth brushing, shaving, toileting, nail clipping, bathing.... it is no wonder that he was depressed and a bit angry in the end. He was visited often by friends and family, and he tried hard to keep up a good front and his dry wit & sense of humor for them. But for those who were closest to him - the last month or so was very difficult. The things I grieved for the most were the things we had to give up long before he passed. It was August when he could no longer climb the stairs to our bedroom. We made him a bedroom in one end of the dining room and that was the last he saw of the upstairs. We both got better rest after that - I always had to try to be conscious of throwing my arm over him or kicking him in my sleep. He was so frail and the neuropathy was so bad that even the slightest touch was painful. Rick was always The Driver whenever we went anywhere. That was probably the biggest thing he had to sacrifice at the beginning, and it was a source of many backseat-driver arguments between us. After awhile, he realized he just had to sit back and shut up and our trips went a little easier. I'm having a hard time ending this. What do you say of a person who was your rock, soul mate, lover, and best friend for almost 25 years? He was the consumate teacher, yet always curious and ready to learn new things. He loved life and lived it on his terms, and he dealt with this disease and death the same way - on his terms. I know he is happy if this website helps even one more person, and I know he is proud of me for finishing it.. |
Rest in Peace, Ricky. We Done Good. |
Robyne's Caregiver Tips |
Let them do for themselves whatever they can as long as they can. Rick didn't like that he couldn't remember when he'd taken his liquid morphine. He hated having to ask me if it was time for it, so we came up with a simple solution. Buy one of those "We Will Return" signs at your local office supply place. It has a big clock face on it, with moveable arms. I just taped over the words and wrote "Last Morphine Taken". When he took a dose, we just moved the arms to the right time. We taped this card to his bedside rail, right in eyesight. Rick wore light gloves to help keep his hands warm, and carried around many little tools with him to help him deal with the neuropathy. He used a large set of hemostats to pick things up or grip things. He used a large bungy cord around his bedside table to keep things from falling off the edge. We used a snack clip to keep the feeding tube where he wanted it on his shirt. Use Coca-Cola or Seltzer water to clean the feeding tube. Keep a spare change of clothes in the car for the patient. You never know..... Also keep a nice "butt pillow" in the car. We found one that was gel filled and had a handle. Great for those restaurants that have hard wooden seats. Speaking of restaurants... order one meal and an appetizer and split it. No sense wasting food. Keep the following cards in your wallet at all times: A list of the doctors w/ address & phone numbers. A list of medications, the dosages and frequency. (The doctor's offices will LOVE you for this!) When he was in the hospital, I kept a backpack in my car with a change of clothes for myself, and small size toiletries. (Toothbrush/paste, deoderant, wipes, etc). You''ll soon learn where the quietest bathroom is and how to live out of this bag for days if needed. Also keep a pre-paid phone card handy. Not all cell phones work everywhere, and especially not everywhere in hospitals. ASK FOR HELP. If people ask you what they can do, don't say "Nothing"! Keep a list somewhere of little things folks can do when they drop by - take your car for an oil change? Mow the yard? Even the littlest thing will make them feel helpful and take some pressure off of you. |
Final Update Aug. 10, 2008 |
